How to pass a child to an orphanage? Is it possible to take my own child to an orphanage

It is difficult for an ordinary person to imagine what life circumstances may compel an adult to think about how to deliver a child to an orphanage. It is difficult to argue on this subject, understanding that there are no uniquely bad, scary and evil adults, as well as unhappy and offended children. It is easy to make a decision about placing a child in an orphanage if parents lead an asocial lifestyle, drink or beat - in this case living in a family is perceived as a threat to their life, and the orphanage becomes a salvation. But just such parents don’t think about whether it is possible to take the child to the orphanage - they don’t think much about children.

It is more difficult to understand what should happen in a relatively prosperous family so that the parent begins to think about this issue. To understand this is not to savor the details of someone else's family misfortune, but to notice and prevent a problem in your family in time.

Reasons for abandoning a child

There are no perfect parents. In their family, children sooner or later are dissatisfied with their parents, just as parents always would like to correct something in the behavior of their children. But far from always these conflicts of “fathers and children” become an occasion to think about how to hand over a child to an orphanage. The reasons for abandoning a child can be different - momentary spontaneous decisions that are the result of a heated quarrel or conflict with a child, as well as balanced and adopted as a result of a difficult family situation. Do not rush to immediately condemn such parents (and, as a rule, this is a single mother), there are really difficult cases. Real life sometimes throws up situations that are much more intricate than the most complicated series.

Difficult life vicissitudes

Some people are familiar with the situation - a single mother living in a remote area wants to leave to work for her family in a major city or abroad. There is no one to leave the child with, and she comes to the decision: "I want to take the child to the orphanage. Temporarily!". It is assumed that the mother does not abandon her child forever, only until she earns a living. The situation may be aggravated by the fact that the mother of the children may have several, and one of them requires expensive urgent medical care.

Return of adopted and adopted children

Sometimes parents have to think about returning foster children to the orphanage. A situation is known where adoptive parents took the child into a family with their own native children. After some time, it turned out that the adopted child has a serious mental disorder, due to which he practically terrorizes the youngest children in the family. Moreover, because of their age, children cannot fight back, and in adults, a foster boy behaves appropriately. Parents were not in a hurry to get rid of him right away; on the contrary, they arranged repeated conversations and looked for other ways of influence that were unsuccessful. Moreover, they themselves became attached to the adopted son, are well aware of the psychological impact that the return may bring him to the orphanage, but, looking at the bruises and beatings on younger children, they simply do not see any other way to resolve the issue.

Lack of contact and understanding in the family

Not always parents can cope with their own child. The reasons for this are different, but the result is one - the parents have lost their authority and can not have the proper effect on the teenager. The latter is aggressive, sees in relatives a threat to his freedom, strives to get away from home, and even grab something from his things, and his parents do not feel safe being near him. Are they entitled to make a harsh decision for educational purposes, or should they dutifully wait for their fate? Each parent answers this question independently in each case.You should not wait for help or advice from others in such matters - this is your personal choice and your responsibility.

What documents are needed to pass a child to an orphanage

A child is a full citizen of his country. Therefore, if such a decision has already been made, a set of documents will be required at the orphanage. The main rule is that you should contact the local guardianship authorities, there they will provide all the necessary information. Registration of a child in an orphanage is not a one-day process, as this will require a decision of local self-government bodies or other state bodies, as well as a request form in the guardianship authorities. The minimum set of documents includes:

• birth certificate (or passport) of the child. In the absence of such a medical report is issued, establishing the approximate age of the child;
• housing inspection certificate;
• if the child goes to school, you will need documents on education;
• information about the parents (parent);
• inventory of property owned by the child.

Problems of personality formation in child care facilities

In any case, keeping children in orphanages does not pass without a trace for them. These problems cannot be prevented neither by the increased attention of educators, nor by the best financing. All personal problems of pupils in the orphanage can be divided into several types:

• In the cognitive sphere associated with a lack of mental development. Moreover, this does not mean mental retardation, it is the result of an irregular environmental impact when acquiring any skills.
• In the emotional sphere, caused by the lack of close emotional contacts, primarily with the mother and peers.
• In the social sphere, provoked by a lack of experience in interpersonal contacts and team communication.
• Sensory sphere - due to the lack of stimuli of the auditory and visual spheres.

As a result of these factors, emotional poverty is inherent in orphanages, and the lack of social life experience that can only be obtained in the family. They have either low or high self-esteem due to the unformed image of "I". Lack of social experience leads to the fact that children cannot find a common language with people around them, they become rude, distrustful, suspicious, and can start to deceive. They tend to desire to separate from the rest, to assert themselves by any means.

Negative consequences of living in child care facilities

Before making a final decision, you need to have a correct idea of ​​how children live in an orphanage and how their personality is formed there. This is a place where children will not be able to develop a stable attachment to a person, to the so-called psychologists "significant adult." And without this, in the opinion of L. Petranovskaya, a Russian psychologist, teacher and publicist, it is impossible to form a full-fledged personality. Any child should feel a reliable rear, know that he has someone who will protect him.

Living in an orphanage, he sees many adults (speech therapists, psychologists, educators, librarians, cleaners, and so on), but not one of them is personally attached to him, and, accordingly, he does not become attached to anyone. A feeling of closeness and devotion can only be formed in the conditions of separation into adults and strangers. Living a life without a meaningful adult, the child, in fact, is in a situation of constant stress and fear. The world around him is not open, interesting and informative, but cold, ruthless and hostile.

Limited space

About what children in orphanages, another fact that characterizes life in children's institutions will tell you - the total impossibility of the pupils to lead their personal lives.In the orphanage, there is a constant violation of the boundaries of personal space - a shared shower, toilet, nowhere to retire with your emotions and thoughts. The child gets used to being constantly examined, adults who are alien to him, and alien and not always benevolent children, are watching him.

Lack of responsibility

The problem for the future life of a person who grew up in an orphanage is the inability to learn how to bear responsibility for his life and his actions. On the one hand, the constant lack of problems with daily worries about where to get food and how to wash dirty clothes make life easier, on the other hand, the pupil gets used to having someone do this work for him daily.

Summing up, we can say that the issue of transferring one's own child to an orphanage in each specific situation is always decided individually. Perhaps there really is no other way. This is a moral and ethical question and everyone answers it in his own way. It is very important that in the case of a positive answer - yes, give - this happened with the full understanding that the condition for the formation of a successful personality of each child can only be a family. Everyone will agree with this statement - from psychologists, teachers to the children themselves - children from orphanages.