You really love your job, do a good job with it, the authorities appreciate you, everything seems to be excellent. But every day it’s more and more difficult for you to go to work because of complex relationships with colleagues (one or several). It seems to you that just being close to these people spoils your whole life. In their presence, you begin to get nervous, make stupid mistakes in your work, and behave differently than usual. Obviously, something needs to be done with this, but what? Believe me, this problem is not new, there is a solution, and this is not a dismissal from work.
Personal dislike interferes with work
Relations in the team can be the main reason for inefficient work, a decline in production, and sometimes the collapse of the company. Therefore, the existing problems cannot be ignored, but all efforts must be devoted to solving them. Is someone annoying you or are you afraid and do not even want to cross with one of your colleagues? You will have to try so that your conflict does not develop into a common problem. the work of the entire team may suffer from it.
How did it all start? From a specific case or just like that, for no apparent reason? Do you know why the conflict erupted? You will have to answer all these questions yourself, otherwise the situation will continue to heat up. Your psychological state greatly affects the workflow, more than you could imagine. When a person is annoyed, he makes gross mistakes that, in a calm state, he would never have made. So to eliminate your conflict is very important, otherwise you will not be able to work normally.
Get to know better
It sounds absurd, but that’s exactly what can help you. Yes, it is unbearable for you to see this person, he is unpleasant to you, but perhaps this is because you do not know him at all? People in the team are looking for those who are close to them in spirit and reject those whose lifestyle and character are different from yours. But as soon as you manage to find at least something in common with the source of your troubles and fears, it will become easier for you to communicate. Sort out yourself and try to make contact, it's easier than you think.
Believe me, there are frequent cases when people from enemies became close friends precisely after trying to get to know each other better. It cannot be that your offender does not have any positive qualities at all. After all, he also has friends, someone supports him, he has a family, children. Everyone around him cannot be “monsters,” for sure they just know how to behave properly with him. Find something that brings you even closer together and move in that direction.
Do not take it upon yourself
That is, do not take the negative of your colleague specifically at your own expense. Such people have such a character that it is necessary to say disgusting things, no matter what, all the same to whom, just to let the negative go out into the air. Your colleague, perhaps, has nothing against you personally, he just likes to heat the atmosphere around. He is “energized” by energy from general irritation and feels great about himself. As soon as his strength is exhausted, he goes to aggravation again. This is his constant feeding method.
A colleague told you disgusting and immediately forgot, and you will delve into yourself for hours, think about it, not being able to work normally. He probably did not want to offend you specifically, maybe he just doesn’t like your way of doing business or the way you communicate. What can he know about you? How can he draw personal conclusions about you if you do not know each other at all? Just saying something unpleasant to you does not mean that you are a problem.
Set boundaries
There is a wonderful English expression: “Good fences make good neighbors.” Distance yourself from the one who annoys you.Not literally, but psychologically. This does not mean that you need to run away from him, hide and not catch the eye. On the contrary, be in your place, keep external calm, but let there be an invisible wall inside you.
Do not miss the negative, filter the swear words, communicating exclusively at work. Do not go for provocation, responding with insults to insults. This is an employee’s attempt to knock out the soil from under your feet and bring it into open conflict. Such people know how to swear professionally, you will lose this battle. Do not start it, do not lower yourself in the eyes of the collective.
Start with the little things
It is clear that rejection will not disappear by itself all of a sudden. Try to start making small steps towards. At a meeting, a friendly hello, thank you for your advice on work, praise the dress - anything that will be pleasant to a person. There is no need to go too far - to curry favor, to "suck up", to offer your help. This behavior is alarming and repelling even more. With gradual, unobtrusive steps you can bring your enemy closer to the category of workmates.
Do not try to change what you cannot do
Most of the problems you have are trying to control everything and change everything. You want the director to become kinder, your colleagues understand you perfectly, the work was done easily. But you cannot change everything that you do not like. Humble yourself and control only yourself and your work. Most people do not change, but you can change their attitude towards you gradually.
Act calmly and gradually, be consistent, try to do your job efficiently. Over time, your actions will lead to better relationships, it will become easier and more pleasant to work with you. Take control of your words and thoughts, your work, but do not try to control others. Let their negativity remain on their conscience. Control yourself, but don't let the rest do it.
Take a break
If the relationship is at an impasse, and any of your attempts to change the situation do not help, then just take a break. For some time, do not communicate with your abuser at all. Avoid contacts, do not enter into conflicts, ignore any provocations. The best option would be a vacation during which you would reconsider your situation, take a break from the negative. Perhaps you will need to change tactics, take a different path of development of relations.
It happens that during your absence a conflicting colleague will switch to someone else. This, of course, is dubious, but still a way out. There are people who need to "get" at least someone, so they will still look for a "victim". Perhaps, even in your presence, the offender will find another object for bullying and your conflict will come to naught by itself.
The main thing that you have to understand is that the situation at work can always be changed for the better. Even if it seems to you that the conflict is unsolvable, that the situation has gone too far and you can no longer be next to a hated colleague, there is still a way out. You always have time to change work, first try to solve everything with "little blood." Believe me, it’s possible, there are hundreds of examples of this. People could not bear each other, and then became friends for the rest of their lives. You can really make a difference, everything is in your hands.