Imposter Syndrome is a condition where a person considers himself unworthy of praise and promotion in his career. Low self-esteem makes him constantly think that he is not competent enough or does not possess the necessary skills for his work. In order to feel confident and receive rewards worthy of your knowledge and skills, you need to pay attention to the following aspects.
Find out your impostor syndrome
The phenomenon of a condition called impostor syndrome was first discovered by Valerie Young, author of The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women. He claims that this feeling is familiar to a huge number of excellent specialists, among whom are even scientists. It is human nature to doubt his abilities. And especially if he is the owner of a high level of intelligence. Sometimes it’s even impossible to assess the extent of your contribution, since it seems that the achievements came as a result of luck.
Try to determine if you have this syndrome. It can relate not only to professional activities, but also to other areas of life (for example, among parents and children, colleagues and friends). Did you seem to be unworthy of the salary or position you occupy? Did you feel uncomfortable when someone thanked you for something? If the answer is yes, then you have it, and this can be dangerous. Follow Yang’s advice and you will be greatly relieved.
Share your thoughts
Surely you have friends or colleagues that you trust. Talk to them openly and admit that sometimes you feel awkward of this kind. You do not undertake important tasks, because you are afraid to do something wrong. Or never assert your rights thinking that you do not deserve more. Firstly, voicing these phrases (choose what applies to you), you will immediately feel relief. It will become clear to you that, in fact, everything is wrong, and you are not an impostor. If that were the case, you would have long lost this job (family, friends, etc.). Secondly, your colleague may also admit that he has been in such a situation or she still hasn’t let him go.
Accept mistakes and ask for feedback
This advice will help you if you make any mistake or think that you made it. Think about the fact that everyone has the right to make a mistake, but no one should lose their self-esteem from this and feel like a failure. Try to pull yourself together and turn to the boss (colleague, friend) with the question of what was wrong. If you do everything tactfully and correctly, any person will explain the mistakes or reassure you that everything is fine. Such feedback will help you to objectively look at the situation from the side and accept all your mistakes and achievements. Just do not do it constantly, after hearing a cue, take measures (improve), otherwise you may be mistaken for a whiner who walks and requires recognition.
Objectively evaluate your critics
If you have been remarked or not very tactful (boss or colleague), take it calmly. Such things must be approached philosophically. If criticism was constructive, draw conclusions and take action. If it was a simple attack of an irritated person, it means that your critic has a reason for this, and it does not necessarily concern you.Perhaps the boss is in a bad mood or he feels himself to be an impostor in the team, but now he has decided to “recoup” on you (it was you who fell under the hot hand). Try to be indulgent towards this person, just treat yourself kindly. A positive attitude will help you with this.
Do not be afraid to say "I do not know"
If you are the owner of impostor syndrome, you are likely to have panic if you do not know the answer to the question. You try your best, but you don’t see the result. And here, others may think that they are generally deprived of competence. Do not be nervous, you need to calm down and say three treasured words: “I don’t know,” and then immediately add: “But I will certainly learn” or “But I will find out.” This recommendation is suitable for lower-level representatives. But if you are in a leadership position, you should say: “This is a wonderful question, but I did not know. And what do others think about this. ” Such phrases will be natural and understandable to other people, since everyone understands that one person cannot know everything in the world. And the one who is not afraid to admit it is the most intelligent and well-mannered.
Follow the words
Wean yourself from phrases that deprive you of confidence. It concerns: “This is probably a stupid question”, “You probably already thought about it”, “I feel”, etc. There should be no doubts and assumptions in your words, you should always have several arguments in reserve of his innocence. Take your time to talk and answer the questions asked, pause in words. This will give you the opportunity to think through the phrase from beginning to end. And when you finish the story - shut up. You should not add such useless words in this case as “Yes-ah”, “Ta-ah”, etc. This gives you uncertainty, you look somewhat confused, afraid of the reaction of your vis-a-vis.
The conversation should be concise and constructive, especially if it concerns professional communication. And if you are talking with friends or relatives, also behave yourself with dignity. After all, even close people are pleased to deal with a person who respects himself and others. And even more so if he has nothing to apologize for. Be confident and you will notice how things will gradually change for the better.