Every day we stand criticism from numerous people. Behavior, statements, appearance, etc., are evaluated. And this assessment is not always pleasant. If the significant views of a stranger can be ignored, then the statements of relatives or friends are sometimes taken very painfully. However, we ourselves also value other people. How to express your opinion correctly so as not to cause negative emotions?
Criticism and its types
Having an opinion and expressing it out loud is normal. This is what is called criticism. The main thing is how it is presented. Constructive criticism is aimed at benefiting, pointing out errors and ways to correct them. It is expressed in the form of advice, objective analysis, recommendations. Destructive criticism is also a way to give an assessment, but it does not carry any benefit in itself. This method is used to make a person lose his temper and, under the influence of momentary emotions, abandon his plans.
Principles of constructive criticism
- Objectivity. Express your opinion, but do not claim that it is the only true one.
- Specificity. Focus on specific points, not on the entire work as a whole.
- Argumentation. Show what your assessment is based on, justify your opinion.
- Experience and practice. Personal examples are very revealing. Tell us how you avoided mistakes or corrected them.
- Professionalism. If you are well versed in the issue that you criticize, then they will listen to you. Otherwise, you risk being known as an amateur.
- Lack of transition to personality. Criticize the work, not the person, show respect for the opponent.
- Focus on the pros. Pointing to the shortcomings of the work, do not forget to say about its merits.
How to criticize
When you evaluate the actions of another person, it is important that he hears what you want to say. The rules of constructive criticism will help in this:
- Express your opinion when you are alone with a person. Respect your opponent, do not make his mistakes public.
- Suggest solutions to the problem. Help with advice or deed, otherwise the meaning of criticism will be unclear.
- Keep calm. The opponent will respond to aggressive statements with aggression.
- Evaluate work in a timely manner. If constructive criticism is expressed after a long time, you will be considered a quarrelsome, vindictive person.
- Alternate negative moments with praise. A person will feel that they appreciate him, despite the mistakes made. He will try to justify his trust and will not make such mistakes in the future.
- Criticism is a dialogue. Let the opponent speak. Perhaps he could not influence the situation that led to the errors.
- You can not criticize, referring to others. Responsible for your words, otherwise you will be accused of spreading gossip.
- When the causes of errors and solutions are found, leave this question. You do not need to constantly remind your opponent of his mistakes.
- If the opponent is annoyed and unable to adequately perceive your words, postpone the conversation for a while.
Areas of application of constructive criticism
Grading is not as easy as it sounds. Sometimes even a very restrained critic can lose his temper and be overly emotional. But there are areas in which destructive criticism is unacceptable in any case.
The first concerns the relationship leader-subordinate. With the help of constructive criticism, it is necessary to adjust the actions of the employee. Otherwise, the person will work poorly, and he will have to be fired.
Another area is the educator (parent, teacher) - the child. Destructive criticism reduces the self-esteem of a small person. If the child is constantly told that he does everything badly, then he grows into a weak, insecure personality.
The third area is training. Constructive criticism of the teacher guides the student, helps to eliminate mistakes and gain new knowledge. A negative assessment gives the opposite effect - the desire to learn disappears, knowledge is not acquired.
Examples of constructive criticism
How easy it is to express your opinion under the influence of emotions ... The result of destructive criticism is resentment and unwillingness to listen. But one can say the same thing in different words. Let's look at a few examples.
- “What were you thinking when you wrote the report?” This is no good! Redo everything immediately! ”
No one likes a rude boss. It is better to say about the shortcomings in a different way:
- “Ivan Ivanovich, you are a good specialist, but the numbers in the last column of the report are incorrect. Correct them, please. I hope you will be more attentive next time. Your diligence and responsibility are valuable qualities for our company. ”
- “Why are you wearing this terrible dress? It has a bad color, and it hangs on you like a bag. "
After such a phrase, a quarrel with a friend is provided. Better rephrase:
- “I really liked the dress you wore on the weekend. It well emphasizes the figure, and color to the face. And this outfit is too pale for you. In addition, you have a beautiful figure, and this dress hides her. "
- “Ham! You can’t connect a couple of words! You’re talking nonsense! ”
A dispute in a working environment will develop into a quarrel if both opponents are unrestrained. Better to say:
- “No need to be rude. I think you should apologize. Next time do not rush to answer. You are too emotional. First calm down, consult, then express your opinion. "
How to react to criticism
- "They criticized me, which means that I will not succeed." Low self-esteem is the first step to failure. Even if the result of the work done was not ideal, this is not a reason to become discouraged. One must always believe in oneself, and criticism will help correct the situation.
- "They spoke to me too emotionally, which means that I'm doing everything badly." What matters is not so much the form of the assessment as its content. Both constructive and destructive criticism can be expressed too emotionally. It's all about the person who voices his opinion. It is important to discard unnecessary emotions and hear useful recommendations.
- “They criticize me. An urgent response is needed. ” An instant response to an assessment is not always good. If the criticism was destructive, the opponent spoke in raised tones, that is, there is a risk that you will be drawn into this emotional state, and the result of communication will be a quarrel. It’s better to take a break, calm down and think about your answer.
- "If they criticize me, then they find fault with me." Consider other people's assessment as an aid, not a way to unbalance you. Criticized? Not scary. Now you know how to not do it, and make no mistakes in the future.
- “I don't care that they criticize me.” Lack of response to an assessment is as bad as an instant response. Think what lies behind the criticism? Maybe you are in danger, and your opponent warns about it.
- “I'm upset about criticism, so I can't do anything.” Do not take to heart the assessment of other people. Constructive criticism makes it possible to avoid mistakes or correct them. The main thing is less emotions during the decision.
- "They criticize me because I do not like / quarreled / envy me ..." The search for motives can lead to the opposite result. While you are looking for reasons for criticism, time to fix errors will be missed. It is more important to understand what they say, and not why they do it.
- “Everyone criticizes me because they understand nothing.” If different people give the same assessment, think about it, maybe you are doing something wrong.
- “They don’t tell me anything, so I’m doing everything right.” Criticism is not always explicit. For example, a subordinate or unfamiliar person cannot speak openly. However, some actions or words may be hidden criticism. It is important to see it and take action if common sense prevails in the assessment, not emotions.
Criticize correctly. But if there is an opportunity, it is better to refrain from statements. Criticism can hurt and destroy good relationships.