Conflicts ... This word is constantly on hearing in modern society. Personal and working disagreements lead to various negative situations when people are forced to look for ways out of them with the least moral loss. That is why conflict prevention is the key to a healthy relationship when there is no need to stay in search of ways to reconcile.
What is conflict
In modern psychology, there are many different definitions of this concept. But they all suggest that conflict is the most acute phase in resolving various contradictions. They arise in the process of interaction and consist in counteracting the participants in the situation, accompanying it with negative emotions. Most scientists focus on the contradictory goals and interests of the subjects of the disagreement.
There is a definition of contradiction as a speech action, where three stages of the struggle of interests are distinguished, the result of which is a conflict:
- differences of opinion;
- contradiction in dialogues;
- direct struggle, expressed in conflicts of action.
Thus, conflict prevention means the absence of any speech actions aimed at causing harm of any kind to the other side.
Essence of conflict
In order for conflict prevention to be sufficiently effective, it is necessary to understand what the essence of the contradiction is, which has four characteristics;
- structure;
- dynamics;
- function;
- control.
The structure of the conflict consists of:
- object (subject of dispute);
- subjects (individuals, groups or organizations);
- flow conditions;
- scale;
- strategies and tactics of behavior of subjects of a situation;
- the outcome.
The psychology of conflict involves a dynamic process that consists of the following steps:
- objective situation when objective reasons for conflict arise;
- conflict interaction, where the incident itself takes place;
- conflict resolution, which may be full or partial.
The conflict performs various functions, and some of them are important enough for the effective interaction of the parties:
- dialectic, implying the identification of the causes of conflict interaction;
- constructive, suggesting the direction of stress caused by the situation arises, to achieve the goal;
- destructive when various personal and emotional colors of relationships appear.
The regulation of conflict comes down, in essence, to the ability to manage it. Management, in turn, is divided into external and internal. In the first case, control over the situation is entrusted to the leader, in the second, personal control of his behavior is necessary.
The main stages of conflict situations
The reasons for the disagreements may be very different, but common to all of them are the stages of the emergence and resolution of the dispute. So, the stages of the conflict are as follows:
- the moment of the emergence of a conflict situation that can provoke one or several people;
- awareness of the situation, expressed in a change in mood and various critical statements addressed to the opponent;
- open confrontation, when the parties proceed to active actions in order to inflict insult or other moral damage to the enemy;
- the opponent’s awareness of the conflict situation and the beginning of the response;
- conflict development when certain requirements are put forward;
- ending disagreements through requests, conversations or administrative methods consisting in a court decision, dismissal, etc.
As you may have noticed, these stages of the conflict pass from one to another regardless of the type of disagreement that has arisen.
Outcome options
There are different options for resolving conflict situations:
- leaving him when one of the parties does not notice or pretends that he does not notice the differences that have arisen;
- smoothing out contradictions when one of the subjects of the conflict either agrees with the claims presented by the other party or justifies itself;
- a compromise when both parties make mutual concessions in order to resolve disagreements;
- increased tension, when the onset of the conflict is particularly harsh and turns into a serious confrontation, not limited in time;
- suppression of the conflict by force, when one of the parties or both entities is forced to accept a certain point of view.
Types of Conflict
The psychology of conflict involves its division into types depending on the basis. So, the following factors can serve as the basis for separation into a separate type:
- sources of occurrence;
- social consequences;
- scale;
- forms of struggle;
- tactics of subjects.
Also, conflicts are divided into two types in relation to a separate subject:
- domestic;
- external.
Internal conflict involves a contradiction of the desires of one person, and external - disagreements between him and the environment. The nature of the external conflict, in turn, can be interpersonal, intergroup, or such that arose between the individual and the group.
Interpersonal conflict is the most common and consists in the conflict of interests of various individuals. Intergroup, as a rule, arises in a working atmosphere, when the interests of small groups are opposite. As for the conflict between the individual and the group, this kind of disagreement is also characteristic of the business sphere, when the interests of the organization contradict the interests of the individual.
In addition to such disagreements, there are many others: family, adolescent, personal or generational conflict. In each of these situations, problems arise with the closest people, which means that everything must be done to prevent this.
Family Conflicts
Unfortunately, despite all efforts, conflicts in the family are an inevitable phenomenon. And the point here is not that people do not like each other, just not everyone knows how to resolve disagreements peacefully.
Conflicts in the family can occur between spouses, between children, between parents and children, between spouses and their parents - there are many options. However, the question arises: why do some couples live happily ever after, while others become enemies and diverge forever? It's all about the attitude of people to the situation. The subject of the conflict can inflate the scandal, increasing its scale, however, it is up to him to end it without great moral losses.
In order for a conflict to arise, the slightest cause is enough. Sometimes it becomes like a game of table tennis, when partners throw each other mutual accusations, like a ball in a game. This can go on for quite some time, it all depends on the desire and ability of the parties to make a scandal.
In fact, there are many ways to maintain peace in the family. For example, if frequent contention began to appear not so long ago, you can try to express your claim and ask your spouse to voice it in your own words. Psychologists say that most of the problems for couples arise due to the misinterpretation of the words of their half. Having tried this method, you will quickly see that the essence of the conflict has no basis.
If the reason for the disagreement is a discrepancy in desires, take a slip and write what you would like to do. It is advisable that the list contains at least 5 items. Then compare your desires and try to derive from them something common to both.You will be surprised how effective this method is.
However, it is worth remembering that, regardless of the reason for the disagreement, the main thing is to find out its cause. Conflict prevention is to listen to and hear each other. In addition, it is necessary to voice your desires, not expecting that they will be guessed by your spouse. If you follow these two rules, the number of conflict situations in family life will be minimized.
The problem of fathers and children
In modern society, there are three main areas: older, mature and young. The conflict of generations is a normal component of the relationship between older and younger.
As for the discussion of this type of disagreement, a transition to micro levels is inevitable here, when such situations become commonplace in any average family, where the views of parents differ from children or teenagers. However, a different worldview does not have to lead to conflict situations.
How to avoid generational conflict? The only way out of this situation is to accept the views of the other side, mutual respect and tolerance. For example, pensioners, having ceased to fulfill their daily professional duties, find themselves in a difficult psychological situation when they need help and support from loved ones. 
Adolescents, in turn, are at an age when categorization and a complete denial of adult opinion is normal for them. Between pensioners and young people are mature people who can also suffer from different views on the lives of their parents or children. In this case, each side must be tolerant of the opinions of others and respect it. Only such a mutual understanding can be the answer to the question of how to avoid conflict between different generations.
Teenage conflicts
In adolescence, which is considered one of the most difficult periods, conflicts occupy a special place, being an integral part of social life. Conflicts of adolescents arise not only in relations with parents, but also in communication with peers. Often, it is the child’s complex relationship with his companions that becomes a serious cause for parental concern. At this time, adults are required to make every effort to help the teenager avoid communication difficulties. There are several rules, the observance of which can help to avoid such situations and help the teenager to move to the next life stage most painlessly. So, if your goal is to prevent conflicts, you are required to:
- Do not blame the teenager. It is at this stage of life that trusting relationships with adults are crucial for him. Therefore, it is extremely important that the child knows that he can trust you in any situation, without fear of accusations against him.
- Find out the cause of the disagreement. Find out from the child all the details of what happened before drawing conclusions. If the teenager is withdrawn, you should talk with school teachers and find out the cause of the problem.
- Recognize that not always parental intervention is beneficial. If we are talking about a quarrel between best friends who can swear several times a day, and sometimes it comes to a fight, then the intervention of adults will only have a negative result. Before deciding to help a child, find out all the details of what happened.
- Do not show indifference. Not always the position of an outside observer is beneficial. For example, if your child has serious problems with peers who do not accept him in their circle, this can lead to serious psychological problems in the future. This situation should be taken under control as soon as possible, figuring out what are the reasons for this behavior.
Your benevolent attitude and tolerance are crucial in the painless resolution of teenage conflicts.
Conflicts of Persons
Particularly common are personal conflicts that can arise both between colleagues and between people who are interconnected by various social ties. They, as a rule, appear due to the impossibility of adopting a point of view, ideology, value system and other installations of the enterprise. Also, disagreements may arise between employees due to the incompatibility of their characters and other psychological characteristics.
The main quality that helps to overcome such situations is tolerance towards the opinions of others. It is necessary to realize that no one is obliged to share your point of view, because each person has his own opinion. Awareness of this fact makes it easier to perceive personality differences.
Conflict Resolution Styles
Depending on the goals and interests of the subjects of the conflict situation, the following styles of resolution are distinguished:
- Competition - is one of the most stringent options for resolving conflict situations. Suitable for people seeking to solve the problem in the first place to satisfy their own interests. Style is most acceptable in cases where the subject of the conflict is an employee of the organization, and the resolution of the situation is within the competence of the leader. In this case, it is competition that will accustom employees to submission, and will also help restore faith in the success of the enterprise in a difficult situation.
- Evasion - is expressed in too long delaying decision-making under various pretexts. This leads to the fact that the situation only gets more complicated over time, so this style is the least preferred.
- Adaptation - implies orientation to the behavior of others and unwillingness to defend their own interests. The result of choosing this style of conflict resolution is a concession to the opponent’s requirements and recognition of his innocence.
- Cooperation - involves solving the problem in their favor, taking into account the interests of the other side. This is the most acceptable style of resolving social conflicts, because it is the key to maintaining peaceful relations in the future.
- A compromise based on mutual concessions on both sides. It is suitable for situations where the goals of the parties coincide, only the ways to achieve them differ. This style of conflict resolution is often the best option for participants.
The main ways to resolve conflicts
All existing methods of conflict resolution can be divided into two large groups: negative and positive.
Negative means a struggle for one’s own interests, the main purpose of which is to change the conflict situation. This can be achieved by various methods:
- acting on the other side;
- changing the balance of power;
- using both true and false information about the opponent for their own purposes;
- correctly evaluating the other side and its capabilities.
This method of conflict resolution is quite aggressive and often leads to a violation of unity between the parties in the future. That is why, whenever possible, it should be avoided.
Positive methods for resolving conflicts involve negotiating to determine the most optimal solution to the situation. As a rule, they require concessions from the subjects and lead to partial satisfaction of the interests of the parties.
Thus, there are many ways to resolve conflict situations, but the best way is to prevent it.
How to avoid conflicts
The most common reason for this kind of disagreement is the person’s excessive emotionality. If your goal is conflict prevention, you should learn:
- peace of mind and stress resistance, thanks to which you can calmly assess the current situation;
- to keep your emotions under control in order to be able to convey arguments to the opponent as efficiently as possible;
- listen and pay attention to the words and manifestations of the feelings of others;
- to be aware of the right of each person to resolve this or that situation in his own way;
- Do not use offensive words or do anything to humiliate an opponent.
Following these rules will help to avoid the occurrence of various conflict situations, and therefore the need to look for the best way out of them.
Should conflicts always be avoided?
A conflict situation is always a conflict of interest. Such a confrontation implies that each side will try to defend its desires and point of view, which will inevitably lead to all kinds of disagreements. Of course, it is difficult to argue that a bad world is better than a good quarrel, and it is better to remain silent somewhere than to provoke a scandal.
But if you look at the situation from the other side, then it turns out that conflicts have certain benefits. For example, they help to see existing problems in a new light. This applies to both personal relationships and business. Expressing your opinion is always better than silently experiencing your own discontent. In personal relationships, such silence will sooner or later lead to a large-scale scandal, which may end in the complete separation of people. This applies to couples, friends, and even parents and children. Not a single person can silently endure dissatisfaction all his life, sooner or later it will come out. The later this happens, the worse the consequences. That is why the periodic occurrence of conflict situations will avoid global problems in relations. However, it must be borne in mind that they must be correctly resolved so that they do not drag out and become a familiar way of life.
As for business relations, conflicts of various kinds also allow us to see the problems existing in the team, which should be resolved as soon as possible.
When people live for years without a conflict, this indicates a lack of closeness between them and indifference to each other. No one can read the thoughts of another person and fully comply with his expectations. Therefore, it is necessary to pronounce your desires, even if this leads to a small conflict. The desire to come to an agreement and solve the problem peacefully will improve relations, instead of harming them.
Nevertheless, too frequent disagreements are also not an indicator of a healthy relationship, so conflict prevention is sometimes the best way to resolve the situation.
