Much depends on the ability to find a common language with anyone. This is career advancement, a successful personal life, and a large circle of friends. But how to become an interesting conversationalist? What to say, what and when? These questions concern both young people and experienced people. Let's see how to improve your communication skills.
An interesting conversationalist - who is he?
Surely you met two different types of people. The former can easily join any team, calmly maintain a conversation and even entertain the company, if necessary. The second is difficult to talk with a stranger, it is difficult to select topics for conversation or to speak in front of an audience. What is the secret of easy communication between people, how to become an interesting conversationalist?
First of all, you should look at the type of temperament and character. People who walk easily through life are much easier on many things. They are interested in a lot, and they understand a variety of issues. With such a person, it is easy to find a common theme for anyone. However, despite his erudition, such an interlocutor will never emphasize his superiority.
Another distinguishing feature of an interesting interlocutor is a subtle sense of humor. His jokes can defuse the situation, but neither vulgar nor offensive. Amusing cases from life, unusual analogies and the ability to laugh at oneself make such people even more attractive interlocutors.
How to become an interesting person
A versatile personality is always interesting to others. But how to become an interesting person and an interlocutor? No matter how hard we try to study the technology of the conversation and not pick up interesting topics, without a deep study of personal qualities, it will be useless. One must be interesting first of all to oneself. It is necessary not only to learn a lot and learn new things, but also to be able to operate on these facts. An interesting person will not, stuttering, remember a historical event or a new joke. Train your memory and attention, this will help to overcome the difficulties of communication.
What to read to develop communication skills
A lot of books, manuals and brochures are published daily in the world for those who wish to learn the secrets of positive communication. How not to drown in this sea of information? What to read to become an interesting conversationalist? Indeed, if you take the first publication that comes across, you can be disappointed.
Choose the literature that has already passed the test of time and has taken its rightful place on the shelves. Classical works by psychologists, theorists and practitioners will be very useful for the further development of communication skills. You will not only learn the methods of proper communication, but also be able to better understand people.
The Internet provides a wide range of opportunities for self-education. But, choosing a resource for increasing knowledge, be careful and critical. Pay attention to who wrote the articles, whether the author has a pedagogical or psychological education. This will allow you to filter out clearly false information.
For self-education in the field of communication, periodicals will also be useful. Articles in them undergo mandatory editing and are often written in collaboration with professionals. They definitely won't hurt. You can even make yourself a selection of scrapbooks to make it easier to use.
The basic rules of an interesting interlocutor
Having studied the theory of the psychology of communication, you can begin to practice. There are several tricks that will answer the question of how to become an interesting conversationalist:
- Be mindful of non-verbal signals. They can show much more than words. Pay attention to facial expressions, postures, gestures, timbre and speed of speech.
- Ask questions. Everyone loves to talk about themselves much more than others. So you better know the person. But be careful: this should not be like interrogation or intrusive attention.
- Be attentive to who you are talking to, use active listening tactics. Ask small clarifying questions, deepen the topic, turn around to a person not only with his face, but with his whole body.
- Work on your voice. If possible, take oratory classes or sound like vocal lessons. The low, pectoral, velvety timbre of the voice is much more pleasant than the shrill and uneven. I want to listen to such a voice.
- Clear your speech from parasitic words. How to find out what you are abusing? Ask a friend to quietly record your monologue onto the recorder. Extra words will immediately become apparent. Remove them from the lexicon. And of course, it is not worth mentioning separately that the conversation should be extremely polite.
- Learn as much as possible new information. Everything that happens in the world, news of science and technology, interesting facts. All this can help you out in an awkward situation with strangers.
Forbidden conversation topics
Not about everything and it is not always worth starting a conversation. If you are considering how to become an interesting conversationalist, be sure to study, but never raise these questions:
- Politics - this topic is too complex and multifaceted. Especially international, because in the world a variety of events are constantly happening. People can hold many different points of view, and a categorical statement of one of them will easily lead to unnecessary conflict and tense situations.
- Health - This topic is considered intimate. Not everyone is ready to discuss the details of the last visit to the dentist. Moreover, it is considered indecent to publicly talk about one's illnesses.
- Personal life - people do not like to be harassed by obsessive questions. Topics such as marriage, childbirth, divorce, etc., are everyone's personal business. Their discussion is permissible only face-to-face and only with the closest people.
What to talk about
But then the question arises: what is permissible to talk about? There are many topics for discussion:
- Achievements of science, including technological innovations: telephones, cars, etc.
- Fashion, beauty, style - just do not indulge in banal gossip.
- Cinema, books, plays and other interesting events.
How to become an interesting conversationalist for a man and a girl
With the development of relations with the opposite sex, communication plays an important role. Often young people are looking for the answer to the question of how to become an interesting conversationalist for a girl. And ladies are interested in the same thing about men. But recent studies by psychologists convincingly prove that there are no large gender differences. Just follow all the recommendations above, and you will definitely have success with the opposite sex.
