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“This is stupid”: 5 phrases that make people ignore what you say

To advance on the career ladder it is not enough to have a diploma of higher education and knowledge in the field of interest. No less important are communication skills, in particular, possession of a certain stock of words and expressions that will encourage clients and business partners to cooperate. The skill of business communication is always in demand and is of great importance for the formation of the correct perception of other people about you. However, using only five familiar words and phrases can undermine the reputation of even the most intelligent employee. This is described in more detail in this article.

Do not throw words into the wind

The word is powerful and can contain a positive or negative orientation. Communications trainer Alan Samuel Cohen, author of The Connection Problem: How Managers Create Power and Opportunity in an Age of Distraction, argues that some phrases at best distract the person from the subject, and at worst, cause a strong negative reaction to the whole conversation.

“It’s impossible to control every word you say, and people will hear what they hear,” Cohen says. However, it is better to choose from the usual phrases more preferred options.

Do not say: “But ...”

Whenever a “but” particle is used as a compound, the first part of the sentence is immediately called into question. Listen: “I love you, but ...” Or: “This is a great idea, but ...” Does that sound annoying?

In this case, it is better to use the union “and”. In this case, the meaning of the phrase becomes more pleasant and close to the interlocutor. For example, the sentence: “This is a great idea, and we can consider it more carefully,” it sounds constructively.

Don't say it's stupid

When self-derogatory words are used in speech, pressure is exerted on others. The interlocutor immediately feels insecurity about himself and his phrases.

Often people start a conversation as follows, which is fundamentally wrong: “It may not be a good idea” or “It may not work.” Everything, the negativity is already laid. It is better to start by minimizing all the bad and putting emphasis on the best.

It’s better to simply express ideas without specifying whether they are bad or good. So the contribution to the overall process will be noticeable, and errors in the proposal will already be submitted to the general discussion.

Regards

If the statement contains the phrases: “respectfully” or “with all due respect,” the subsequent actions are unlikely to be respectful and often will not be productive. Even if everything that will be said further is in fact respectful, the interlocutor will creep in doubt and he will think that something is wrong. Indeed, regardless of the topic of conversation, a respectful attitude should be a priori.

Do not talk about employment

When answering the question: “How are you?” With the words “I'm so busy”, you can easily provoke people to not want to continue the conversation and to nullify all further actions. The interlocutor will think that he is taking away your time, which is already absent. In addition, some may think that a person is positioning himself more important than his opponent, which is rather unpleasant.

However, the word "busy" has already become familiar to most modern people. Often they themselves are annoyed when they are required to pay attention to unnecessary conversation. However, it is better to answer as follows: “I would like to talk, but I have a meeting in five minutes. Can we catch up at two in the afternoon? ”

Just answering that you are busy is rarely a good idea. It is important for the interlocutor to offer an alternative.

"I will try"

According to Mackay, when people work together to complete projects or tasks, it’s important to know who is working on what and what they are responsible for. When someone says that he will try to complete something, the applicant has doubts about the level of his commitment to the task and whether it will be ultimately satisfied.

At the same time, if you ask someone to try to do something or try, then the interlocutor may seem that you are questioning his ability. For example, “try to understand” sounds as if the speaker does not believe that the receiver is able to actually understand it.

In this case, it is better to say as follows: "If you are not sure that you can complete the task, provide me with detailed information about possible problems." Such a phrase can help to obtain clarity on the issue requiring resolution, and it will be possible to search for the necessary resources that are required in this case.

When you turn to someone else and ask him to try, it is better to say this: “Do you have questions?” This is much better than: “Try to understand.”

Conclusion

As you can see from the article, the phrases are quite banal and firmly entered into the everyday life of many people. However, it is better to avoid them in your speech and replace them with the proposed options. In this case, you can achieve effectiveness from communication, and the annoying factor will be minimized.

An interlocutor who communicates on an equal footing with others and does not use phrases that have a negative meaning is always perceived better than one who does not follow his speech. But it has long been known that the word is not a sparrow ...


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