Money is a constant cause of disputes and conflicts. They can embroil you with friends. It is important to learn how to properly respond to such conflicts so as not to spoil the relationship. How to get out of the embarrassing money situation? How to respond if you are not repaid? We will tell you about the way out of conflict situations in this article.
Borrow money
Even a small amount can cause a breakdown. Therefore, it is recommended that you never lend money to your friends. But a refusal can also cause resentment, especially if a friend is in a difficult life situation. Think carefully about each request. Give as much as you do not mind losing. Otherwise, a debt that was not repaid on time can lead to a quarrel and even the end of a relationship.
Amount plays a huge role in such conflicts. Paying for a friend in a cafe is one thing, and lending him money to pay a mortgage payment is another. If you still decide to refuse, then try to do it tactfully. Say that you yourself are experiencing financial difficulties and simply cannot afford big expenses. Do not doubt the friend’s ability to repay the debt, this will greatly offend him.
Honesty is most important.
If you give a large amount of debt, try to discuss in advance when it will be convenient for your friend to return it. If he does not repay the debt, discuss the problem with him. Perhaps a friend is still experiencing financial difficulties, but hesitate to say so. It is important to talk about the existing problem in order to solve it. Sometimes friends simply forget about their debts, especially if it's the cost of a glass of coffee. There are dishonest people who deliberately keep silent about busy money, hoping that you will not remember.
It is best to secure each other in advance from disputes and conflicts. If you have a large amount, ask in return for a receipt certified by a notary. Yes, perhaps such a request will sound disrespectful to a loved one, but it will save you from financial losses. If a friend really plans to return the money to you, he will not refuse your offer. In the receipt, indicate how much you borrowed and when the person should return it to you.
Do not let loved ones manipulate themselves. If a friend for no reason refuses to pay the debt and behaves aggressively, do not be afraid to break off relations with him.
You borrowed money for a friend, but he spent it frivolously
Imagine a situation: your friend constantly complains about financial difficulties and lack of money. After that, he asks you for a loan amount, specifying that he needs it in order to survive until the next salary. You enter his position and give a friend the money that you also need. But after a couple of days you realize that he spent them frivolously. For example, I went with friends in a cafe or bought a new bag.
Such behavior can greatly undermine each other's trust and ruin the relationship. Therefore, try to discuss in advance exactly what you give money to. If you find out that a friend cheated on you, try talking to him. Ask why he did not spend the money as planned. Perhaps he had reasons to change his plans.
Your friend is constantly asking about the value of your items.
The difference in income often affects the relationship of friends, as it causes envy. If a person knows that he receives less than his friends, he gradually closes in himself and moves away from them.
Friends are close people who are used to discussing personal topics with each other. Do not think that a friend is jealous of you if he asked how much your new car or skirt costs.Often people ask questions out of curiosity, forgetting about tact. You can refuse to answer or give only an approximate amount.
What to do in order not to offend him?
Often such questions arise out of curiosity, and not out of envy. If in the West it is not accepted to speak about financial issues, then in Russia they are discussed much more freely. If you have been friends for many years, then try to be open with a person. Hiding information from him, you undermine his trust, and this will negatively affect the relationship.
When discussing a major purchase, you can discuss the nuances of its purchase. For example, to tell you that you had to save a long time for the down payment on a mortgage. Do not be afraid to discuss your problems and difficulties. So you not only satisfy the curiosity of friends, but also share life experiences with them. It will only strengthen your relationship.
Your friend earns more than you
It’s good if you earn more than your friends. But sometimes it happens that your income is much less. Of course, strong and long-term relationships are unlikely to spoil because of this. But sometimes friends do not fully understand that you cannot meet their financial expectations.
For example, you have a girlfriend who calls for dinner at an expensive restaurant. His visit will not affect the wallet much, but you cannot afford to spend such a large amount. Of course, you can refuse, citing illness or work. But it’s best not to feel guilty and try to find a compromise. Invite a friend to visit a cheaper cafe or invite to take a walk in the park.
Travel together
From time to time, friends get together and go on a trip. It is in itself a test for relationships. Getting out of the comfort zone, people often conflict. Living together, which friends have not encountered before, can also negatively affect relationships. But most embarrassing situations involve money.
When traveling together, try to pay separately from friends. When buying a plane ticket, pay it from your account, and do not transfer money to a friend. If you constantly spend money, it will soon be difficult for you to determine the amount of possible debt. Therefore, agree that each trip will pay for itself. If a friend gave the money for you, try to get it back quickly. This will help to avoid controversial situations if you suddenly forget about debt.
Everyone wants to split the big bill in the restaurant equally, but you only ordered a drink
When a large group of friends gather in a restaurant, they order food and drinks in the general account. Then it is customary to divide it equally, so as not to bother with calculations. But what to do if everyone ordered expensive dishes, and you limited yourself to just a drink? If you have extra money, then pay your share without protesting. This will help you to avoid disputes and quarrels. Next time, maybe someone will pay for your meals.
You can also say that you will not pay for someone else’s food. Offer to subtract the amount of the drink from the bill, and only then divide it equally between the remaining people. Try to speak politely and do not stir up a dispute, accusing friends of excessive spending. You do not have to pay for their food, but this is not a reason for conflict. Most likely, your friends will understand with understanding your request. They are well aware that not everyone wants to overpay for one drink.