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Marriage Therapist Tells How To Talk With Your Partner About Finance

Talking about finances is never easy, especially when it comes to couples. Each partner has its own preferences and habits that require certain expenses. But if you do not discuss the costs of each family member at a round table, the budget will go without a trace, and your family will be on the verge of bankruptcy. Therefore, you need to be able to coordinate all expenses, since this aspect is one of the main in the life of spouses.

Time to talk

Make it a rule to discuss with your partner all income and expenses. Indicate a specific time when you will consult on this issue. For example, let it be weekly. Try to make this conversation enjoyable. When your soulmate is in a good mood and nothing distracts you, the dialogue will seem relaxed and interesting. Tell us how much money you have already spent, and how much you plan on spending this week. Each purchase must be reasonable and consistent. Then no one will be offended, because everyone will be aware of the financial situation of the family.

Disconnect phone

During a call, turn off the phone or set it aside. Nothing should distract you from solving an important issue. An unexpected call from a friend or your mom can ruin everything. The husband will not wait for the end of your conversation with friends or relatives and calmly switch to more important things for him.

Appropriate place

In order for the conversation to be substantive, you need to find a suitable place. It should be a cozy area where there is no stranger. You do not need a lot of time, so come up with some activity for children or relatives. Let the children go for a walk with the dog or the grandmother will lead them to the playground. If possible, go together to nature or to an ice cream parlor. So a serious and necessary conversation will not become routine, it will bring you not only benefit, but also pleasure.

Topic limitation

Try to solve the most important financial problems during a conversation. It is about repaying a loan, a major purchase or savings for your dreams. You must understand that after a conversation you need to raise all the most important aspects to the surface. Not only you are interested in this, but also your partner, children and relatives. Therefore, try not to be distracted by various insignificant topics, give arguments, suggest options on the merits. So you will quickly find a reasonable solution to all everyday problems and be sure that the next week (at least) will not bring you unpleasant surprises.

Time limit

Talking about finance should not go on forever. If you tell your partner for a long time about your desires and needs of the family, for a minute he will just get tired of listening to you. He will become bored, and he will do something more interesting. Or out of respect for you, it will silently sit and agree with everything that you offer. And then he will spend the money as he sees fit. There is another option, when you planned ten minutes of conversation, but did not manage to agree on anything. The optimal time span is thirty minutes. But you know your soulmate better, so act on your own.

Priority

Prefer dialogue to monologue. Give your opinion in turn, but start with a partner. Ask how it relates to expensive (or cheap) dog food or the decision to buy new furniture. Listen to his point of view to the end, and only then bring your arguments, argue or agree.Do not forget that any dispute should occur in a pleasant conversation mode, when each of you simply expresses his position. If disagreements arise, urgently seek a compromise. The conversation should not be empty, it must have its logical conclusion (consent of both parties).

Emotional condition

Make sure none of you are nervous. If a surge of negative emotions begins, postpone the conversation until a little later or transfer it to another day. In a state of excitement, you still can’t find the right consensus. And if you continue in this spirit, you risk a big quarrel.

Planning

Be sure to come to a common opinion about further planning. Set yourself specific tasks and agree on a specific time when you can discuss the results. If you think it over, and then let it drift, this conversation will be useless. Therefore, get used to the regularity system, do not be afraid to solve uncomfortable issues. With the right actions, this will seem to you both a very exciting pastime.


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