If you are faced with two incompatible goals or desires, ask yourself the question: what will be required to achieve positive results in both cases. Of course, one cannot deny the fact that often one desire excludes another option. If you spend 100 rubles for lunch, you can no longer send this money to your bank account. And the choice in favor of an hour in the gym can be made by cleaning the kitchen, as you will not have free time. Many people tend to view goals as conflicting.
Dialectical method
If you decide to take a more responsible approach to work, most likely you will have to spend less time at home. If you have children, it will be harder for you to travel. If you want to save more money on your pension, you should not spend it on latte.
Since the time of Socrates and Plato, one method of discussion has been known, called the dialectical question. This approach will help you consider your assumptions and identify possible scenarios.
Life example
Jesse Sostrin, Ph.D., Leadership Development Trainer, and author of The Leader’s Dilemma, explains:
Pam wanted to make the next presentation, but because of her workload and the need to make some compromises, this seemed impossible. Both options — giving a presentation or abandoning this idea in order to better do the main job — were important to her. More precisely, it was important for her to get the results of both. However, they seemed incompatible.
The method of dialectical questions allows us to consider the possibility of combining both directions and get the most positive results. Pam asked herself the question: “How can I continue to develop my leadership skills and move up the career ladder, and at the same time organize my activities as a leader in the best way?” Pam concentrated on the results she wanted to get, and made an assumption. As a result, she made a conscious decision to increase the length of the working day every two weeks and travel only twice a month. Despite being busy, she still had time to chat with friends and family, as well as to practice yoga.
Pam excluded certain activities from her work schedule, but only at certain intervals. One week, she will work more and will not be able to devote time to her relatives, but next week her working hours will be reduced and there will be an opportunity for personal affairs.
Of course, the reality is that not everyone has the opportunity to regulate their working hours. However, this does not mean that the dialectic method cannot be applied to other aspects of life.
Conclusion
The main essence of the method is that you concentrate on the possibility of obtaining positive results in the case of the implementation of the most important plans, which at first glance seem incompatible. This will require a creative approach and the ability to look at the situation wider. You may need to temporarily limit yourself to some other, less important area of life. But subsequently it will bring good results.