Questions about finances are such a complex topic that most people prefer to keep them delicately silent, especially at the very beginning of a romantic relationship. Each partner has certain expectations that it is better to try to find out immediately so as not to be disappointed in the future.
Many people do not think that talking about money is the norm. It is not customary to discuss monetary issues at the first date, but if your relationship becomes serious, you should not avoid this topic. This complicated conversation is needed to create a solid foundation for the future of your couple.
1. Tell us about your financial expectations.
It is very important to approach financial conversations from the very beginning of the relationship. Do not wait when you have money problems to discuss this issue, because it will be too late. You will be under stress and can make rash decisions. An open conversation about your financial expectations helps lay the foundation for a healthy relationship.
Money is a sensitive topic for discussion. That's why you can touch it with small touches. Start by telling your partner the amount of your loan, and then go to serious things, such as, for example, your retirement plan. According to a recent survey, people who discuss their debts and immediately solve a financial problem are less likely to feel isolated and give priority to other aspects of their health and well-being.
2. Formulate your questions, starting with "if ..."
When we talk about money, you can be curious without looking too intrusive. Try to ask your questions using the phrase: "if ...". Thus, you will begin to better understand each other.
For example, you can ask your partner the following question: "If you had to choose from two options: to work ninety hours a week with a high salary or for twenty hours a week with a low and the need to save, what would you prefer?"
3. Find a common goal
A subtle way to approach a financial issue is to discuss the financial goal that you are striving for. It's easier to talk about issues related to money, with a person with whom you share a common goal. To find her, tell your partner about your own financial goals. It is possible that he will support you.
This can apply both to money deferred on holidays and to salary after getting a new job or paying off a debt.
Another way to continue conversations on topics related to money is to list financial goals together. This allows you to create a support system in which responsibilities are shared.
4. Learn about your partner’s education
When you understand how your chosen one was brought up, this will tell you a lot about his financial situation today. Most of our views and attitudes toward money come from the family. A good way to begin to understand your loved one is to learn more about his education. After that, you can start talking about your money. You can ask questions such as: "were your parents strict?" or "did your parents argue a lot about money?" According to the financial expert, if you start with trust in each other, this will make each partner be more honest.
5. Determine what you want to know.
While one person may want to know the debt level of his new partner, another may give priority to the daily spending habits of his half.
If you have come to the point that it makes sense to start a discussion of financial issues, prepare a list of topics before you start a conversation. Thus, you can discuss debts, including when you hope to pay off them; loans (ideally, you should talk about your credit ratings); and emergency funds, if any.
6. Quote what you read about finance.
If you need help getting a topic to the discussion, you can always quote what you recently discussed. Of course, it’s a little awkward to start a conversation with the words: “let's discuss our finances”. However, if you want to understand the financial situation of your partner, you can relax a little by paying attention to someone else and telling him something like this: “I recently read on the Internet that you need to talk about money with your partner.” Why not give it a try?
