Conflicts in interpersonal relationships, their causes and characteristics. Interpersonal conflicts: how they arise and proceed, examples

Conflict in interpersonal relations is a confrontation between rivals or groups of people, when an event is perceived by them as a problem and requires solving in someone’s favor or becomes beneficial for all participants. The emergence of interpersonal conflict shows that there are disagreements between people who are expressed in communication, communication, personal ambitions and interests are affected.

How does conflict arise in interpersonal relationships? There are plenty of reasons for the emergence of conflicts between people, and they arise from a specific situation, are associated with the character traits of opponents and the relationships that bind them.

Conflicts in interpersonal relations have their own specificity, which distinguishes them from other options for controversial issues. Namely:

• Each side stubbornly proves its case, using the accusations of the opponent, while missing the argument for their views with facts.
• The conflicting parties are dominated by negative emotions that they are not able to restrain.
• Lack of adequacy and aggression of conflicting participants. Negativity remains after the end of the confrontation.

The causes of interpersonal conflicts may vary depending on the characteristics of their participants. For example, adolescent conflicts are characterized by:

• Self-esteem, in the event that it is hurt, the teenager begins to defend himself, at odds with peers and adults.
• Definiteness and categorization - everything that is contrary to one’s own concepts and beliefs is criticized.
• Bias in requirements - overstated or understated, as well as poor confidence in one's own strengths and capabilities.
• Adolescent maximalism - the lack of internal balance, which contributes to the emergence of tension in communication with others.

Family conflicts also have their own specifics. They can arise due to the opposition of characters, different understanding of family foundations, delegation of responsibilities and methods of raising children, confrontation between the older generation and grandchildren. But family conflict is commonly regarded as the appearance of conflicting insinuations between spouses.

How does conflict arise?

Any conflicts in interpersonal relationships are formed and pass certain phases and periods with their own scale of intensity, duration and effect.

• Hidden phase. It is she who acts as the basis for the emergence of confrontation, and manifests itself when the individual feels his dissatisfaction. For example, occupied by official position, salary level, own correct estimation at colleagues. When internal discontent is not overcome, it moves on to the next stage.
• The phase of tension. This is the way out of the conflict and the formation of all participants in the confrontation. But in this period there is still the opportunity to repay or thoroughly inflate the confrontation.
• The phase of opposition of the participants. There is an increase in contradictions. And actions provoking a collision are committed.
• Graduation phase. The conflict runs its course if the parties manage to come to a single solution. Or at the expense of reducing tension canned. It is also possible to break the relations of the participants and the appearance of other prerequisites for confrontation at a different level.

Conflict Resolution Method

The methods that are used to resolve conflict confrontations are a reflection of the intentions of rivals and their actions in a difficult situation:

• Offensive. The use of power pressure. Here the winner is the one who, using his own interests, tries to impose them on a competitor. To achieve the goal, moral pressure is used, an attempt to manipulate and cunning.
• Care. The clash remains unresolved, however, the boiling point is reduced by boycotting or by changing attitudes to controversial issues. Or there is a departure from their interests in order to maintain relations.
• Compromise. Finding a suitable way out of the situation by discussing and obtaining a mutually beneficial result.

To exclude conflicts in interpersonal relations, a preliminary assessment of each arising tense situation and a timely reaction to it are necessary. To manage conflict moments, you should try to identify the causes and motives of the conflict in order to find ways to resolve them.

An important point is the invited intermediary. A group of people or one person, trusted by all participants in the confrontation. The decision of the intermediary is binding on all rivals.

The foundation of any conflict is a situation in which conflicting positions, goals and means to achieve a result are indicated. The conflict begins to unfold when one side is active, touching on the interests of the other. And if the hurt side begins to react, then the likely conflict becomes topical.

Interpersonal conflicts (examples)

The appearance of conflicting situations is a different attitude of the opponents. The main types of attitudes are considered conflictogenic and synthonic, that is, human behavior in accordance with his character and personal standards.

Conflictogenic situation appears constantly. Consider interpersonal conflicts, examples of which clearly show the likelihood of tense moments. Let's say another participant wedges into a conversation between two people. The interlocutors become silent - a conflict-generating situation is brewing. If the third is accepted into conversation, then this already refers to the synton situation. Or a simple example: the head gives advice to the subordinate - this is considered a synton situation. But advice, when not asked, can provoke a conflict situation. Benevolent phrases like: “How to convey this so that you understand?” Or “It is difficult to reach you” can start a conflict.

The reasons for interpersonal conflicts lie in a different perception of certain words or a painful reaction to incorrectly constructed logical sentences and language mistakes. According to the philosopher B. Russell, all conflicting moments, as well as wars, arise due to an erroneous understanding of a foreign language.

Conflict in interpersonal relations, an example of which we will now examine, can erupt with non-verbal aggression. For the appearance of tension does not require offensive words. Suppose a greeting said in a sarcastic tone can discourage communication. The conflict begins to ripen, not only because of an incorrectly set intonation during the conversation, but also in a demonstrative reluctance to notice or listen to the interlocutor when he addresses. And even such a household factor as a gloomy or displeased facial expression can give an impetus to the start of a conflict.

Conflict Collaboration

• Avoiding conflict is a response to the tension that manifests itself in the desire to leave or not notice the provocation. There is a lack of desire to insist on one’s own, in order to satisfy one’s interests.
• Competition. This desire to dominate the final result.
• Adaptation - recognition of one’s defeat to the detriment of one’s own interests.
• Cooperation - the satisfaction of the interests of each conflicting party.
• A compromise solution is partial satisfaction of one’s own interests in exchange for satisfying the interests of the adversary.

When is it best to avoid conflict?

If there are prerequisites for brewing a controversial situation, it is worth considering whether it is really necessary to go to conflict in interpersonal relations? Briefly: if your own benefit is not affected and it is difficult to prove your case, then it makes no sense to start arguing. Do not engage in a wrangle with a person, if it is clear that his mental potential is inferior to your mind. "Do not argue with a fool." It is useless to prove anything to such a person.

Before you enter into conflict, you should think about what you get in the end? How is the conflict in interpersonal relations? What consequences can it lead to and what will it result in? And whether it will be possible to defend their position and point of view. Therefore, it is worth normalizing an emotional outburst and with calm thoughts and soberly approach the assessment of the current situation.

The conflict involves people who simply need a proper understanding of each other. But they are hindered by a lack of trust in each other. Therefore, it is so necessary to create an atmosphere of fruitful communication. And it is useful to adopt such a law of communication: competition leads to the birth of competition. The method of managing and completing collisions is reduced to following certain rules.

• Identification of a problem.
• An attempt to find a solution mutually acceptable for conflicting participants.
• Listen to the parties, paying attention to what has been said, and not focus on personal characteristics.
• To clarify the correctness of what is understood from what was said by the interlocutor.
• To convey to the other side in a paraphrased form the meaning of the information heard.
• While receiving information, do not interrupt the speaker, exclude criticism and recommendations.
• Clarify the information received, its accuracy and not move on to new messages.
• It is important to maintain a confidential atmosphere and sincerity.
• Actively connect non-verbal communication: eye contact, nodding in approval.

Conflict coordination

Every collision that can go into confrontation can be repaid. If you can’t stop already, then you should treat him as evenly as possible and try to come to a denominator that satisfies both opponents.

Starting to resolve the tension that has arisen, it is necessary to do the preparatory work and outline your tasks. When it is planned to resolve the situation by negotiation, it is worth choosing the right time for a meeting.

For sound conflict management, you must not forget about your interests and understand the benefits of your opponent. During the meeting, calmly voice your interests and clarify whether your opponent is ready to make efforts to resolve the conflict. Suggest a few options. And if they deviate, then work on resolving the confrontation will have to be done independently.

When the conflicting side is ready to solve everything peacefully, decide which side you are on, yours or your opponent. The main thing is to understand, not win at any cost.

The reasons for the collision should be calmly discussed and identified, which led to the conflict:

• Offering the best, no need to blame and attack.
• Defending your judgment, do not put pressure on the opponent. Pressure is not the right behavior, it only leads to a limitation of the possibilities of the conflicting.
• It is important to keep track of your speech. And do not use words that humiliate a person.
• Do not use the words "never" and "for nothing." And remember the proverb "the word is silver, and silence is gold." Sometimes it’s easier to not say than to break out in a tirade that can aggravate a conflict.
• When discussing a situation, one does not need to attack a person. We need to talk about the problem, not about personality traits. Do not cling to the little things, but solve the main issues.
• It is better to express your thoughts and feelings openly.Honesty and sincerity will enable the opponent to better understand and, perhaps, take your point of view. Tell us what is bothering you. The voiced concern is one of the stages in upholding one’s views.

Emotions management

Overwhelmed with emotions, it is better to restrain them, and not to follow their lead. If they did come out, release your fears and grievances. Express your thoughts. If there is an awkwardness after an emotional outburst, then it is better to leave. But this does not mean that admit defeat, it is only an excuse to continue to establish dialogue. A creative and flexible view of the situation is one of the methods of collision management.

When the conflict situation subsides, then, leaving it, ask for forgiveness. It will help restore relationships and quench negative emotions. Words that correctly reflect the situation will not humiliate you and your partner. When joint actions have not resolved the conflict situation, it remains to move on to independent actions.

In order to effectively manage and maneuver in controversial situations, it is necessary to develop understanding in oneself. This will allow us to think and discuss issues more constructively. But only if a person lives in the present, is calm and can clearly respond to changing situations. Learning how to manage a conflict is possible only with personal experience and constant internal growth.

Features of interpersonal conflict

Often, one of the reasons leading to a conflict of interest is the mode of action. It is conscious and unconscious. When a person creates and maintains a confrontation by his deliberate actions, this leads to a conscious conflict.

This behavior can be explained by the following motives:

• The desire for self-affirmation.
• Creating a conflict situation in order to find out the true position of the opponent.
• Conflict as a way to learn the personal qualities of the enemy.
• Clash of interests as a method for setting up a new relationship system.

Conflict behavior, which is considered unconscious, most often occurs as the appearance of contradictions in the relations between people. Actions in this option are defined as:

• Lack of competency.
• Lack of practical experience of conflict-free behavior.
• Personal traits.
• Weak social and moral rules.
• Low culture of communication.
• Inconsistency with the expectations of others.

There are plenty of reasons for the emergence of behavior that is classified as conflict, but they are all subjective. Objective confrontations can be corrected, people can be trained in reasonable criticism and in upholding their own positions.

Studying the dynamics of interpersonal conflicts in school

The problem of the prerequisites for the emergence of conflicts, their course and completion is studied by many sciences, such as: psychology, logic, sociology. As a result, a separate direction was formed - conflict resolution. In schools, children study conflicts in interpersonal relationships (Grade 6). Social studies explains to students the mechanisms, patterns and ways of resolving disputes. The teacher suggests reflecting on the questions of what the controversial situation teaches and what lessons allow us to extract disagreements of views. The topic "Conflicts in Interpersonal Relationships" (Grade 6) helps children understand how to behave during confrontations, both personal and group. Ancillary materials and methods of visual demonstration (tables, graphs, drawings) facilitate the understanding of concepts. So, if students consider overcoming a problem such as conflict in interpersonal relationships (Grade 6), a table with a description of the stages will be very useful. Tables are used not only in grade 6.

The conflict movement is increasing and goes through several phases. This is a topic for study in high school. For students studying conflict in interpersonal relationships (grade 10), the table reveals the types of conflicts and methods for resolving them. Conflicts should not be treated with fear, if you understand that this is nothing more than a manifestation of contradictions. The conflict in interpersonal relations (10th grade) in social studies is considered in great detail, because everyone will have to go through this stage sooner or later.

How to overcome the effects of conflict

There are many ways to relieve stress, methods for overcoming it are debugged and have proven themselves well. And this allows you to offer different options that take into account the personal qualities of a person.

In order to strengthen the level of stress resistance, it is necessary:

• Lead the right and sporty lifestyle.
• Restore the body after physical and moral stress.
• Prevent the appearance of stressful situations.

This is how the psyche is strengthened for a full-fledged living in a social environment. Fresh air, sports, good sleep, proper balanced nutrition are important factors for maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

A healthy lifestyle helps a person not to bend under the pressure of stressful situations, not to react painfully to conflict situations and to find the right ways to eliminate them.