Many of us, faced with life's difficulties and problems, think about how to change our lives, starting all over again. However, it is one thing to want to do this, and quite another to carry out the plan. We will consider in this article the simplest ways to make such changes.
Why is there a desire to start all over again?
The fate of man is full of joys, bright events, and adversities, difficulties. It happens that a person gets used to struggle with difficulties and successfully does it. However, situations are often created when people are simply not able to cope with the traumatic situation in which they find themselves. And then they begin to think about the question of how to change their lives. This question is not simple, but only the person who asked him can answer it. How to be in a situation of a crossroads of life?
Tip one. Understand the essence of your problem
Finding yourself in a state of life's impasse, it is important to understand what has become the main reason for the situation in which you find yourself. The reasons can be very diverse: from external to internal. This may be a nuisance at work, which is associated with the fact that you crave career growth, but for years stomp on one position, low-paid and non-prestigious. You want a variety of work, but you are forced to spend 8 hours a day in a stuffy office with boring and petty people, doing what you don't like.
These may be family troubles associated with the fact that you have lost both affection and respect for your marriage partner. You try to rebuild yourself and keep your family for the sake of your children, for the sake of your shared past, but you understand that you cannot do this. From here comes a feeling of longing and dissatisfaction with one's fate.
Thus, you can’t just find a solution to how to change your life without understanding these deep mental problems. Without careful attention to the world of our own conscious and unconscious, nothing will come of it.
Tip two. Look for positive moments in the present
Perhaps your present today is far from joyful, but that does not mean that it will always be so. Life is generally extremely changeable, so your joy today can become your grief tomorrow, and vice versa. How to change your life? This is the question to be answered in the depths of your heart.
In order not to indulge in a feeling of longing, you need to look for something good in the present day. Not all the same you want to change, something needs to be left. The gentle sun, friends, loving relatives. Look for what is meaningful to you in the present and value this gift.
Tip three. If you decide to change something, think carefully and seriously about your steps.
If you nevertheless decided that without change your life is now impossible, rationally think over all your actions. After all, the question of how to change your life for the better is very important.
Decide what you must do to make your dream come true: change jobs, or maybe get professional retraining, break family ties or create a new family, etc. There are people who find a way out of the crisis in what they take on raising a baby from the Baby House, and there are those who go on a long trip abroad.
However, remember that finding a solution to how to change your life may not work out on the first try.To do this, you need a long and difficult work on yourself and on the circumstances of your life path.
Tip Four. Calculate the consequences of your actions
Changing something in the established order of your life is very difficult, so you must carefully consider the consequences that life will lead to after you make a certain decision. It’s not enough just to say to yourself: “We are changing life for the better.” It is important to understand what needs to be changed, how and what will happen when you complete what you have in mind.
For example, a 33-year-old woman who is married to a person she does not like understands that she is tired of family life. Despite the fact that she has a child of preschool age, she decides to end her marriage because her further preservation seems absurd to her. However, after a painful divorce and division of property, as well as determining the place of residence of the child with her, this woman falls into an even deeper depression. She understands that her desire to become a mother again is no longer feasible, the ex-spouse now seems less tedious, and living alone without a partner seems simply unbearable.
Therefore, before committing fateful acts in life, it should be understood that the phrase “we are changing our lives for the better” must actually be realized, that is, you must really improve, not worsen, your life situation.
Tip Five. Or maybe all this is just an age crisis?
It happens that a person falls into a deep depression, he feels unnecessary, tired, having lost the meaning of his being. The whole picture is completely bleak. A person decides that something is wrong in his life, he thinks about the question of how to change his life for the better, something dramatically changes, however, after going through certain tests, he realizes that he has achieved nothing: longing for soul as it was, and remained. And you can neither destroy it, nor extinguish it, you can only live with it, and life is very painful. What to do in this situation?
In such a situation, you need to think, and maybe the state of a person is a manifestation of an age crisis? Let us try to answer the question of what such crises are.
A bit about the midlife crisis
In this case, we are interested in a crisis called the midlife crisis. By the way, psychologists believe that this crisis manifests itself at any age of a person, for someone it begins at 28, and for someone it manifests itself only after 40.
How does this crisis manifest itself? The fact that a person on average 33-38 years old suddenly begins to realize that his life goes in vain. Despite the fact that he created a family and reached certain career heights, this does not mean anything to him. He could not find his answer to the question of how to change life in the order that he was counting on in his youth.
And the person begins to rush. He is looking for something new, one that would drown out his inner yearning and give meaning to his being. Often women at this age give birth to another child, to whom they relate differently than to their previous children. Men at this age due to the crisis can leave their previous family and decide on a new marriage. Some people forever leave their previous profession, some people can get carried away with alcohol or other means of calming the soul.
However, is the midlife crisis bad for everyone?
This is not to say that this crisis has purely negative consequences. For some people, it becomes a kind of litmus test, which shows that something goes wrong in life. Many want to change their thoughts, change their lives, and the crisis of this age period helps them to do this. He indicates where the cause of the problems is located, helps to establish that there are some flaws in the person’s fate and it’s not too late to correct them. As the famous Soviet psychologist L. S. Vygodsky wrote, the age crisis is an occasion to take a fresh look at yourself.It is during the maturity period due to the onset of this condition that a person develops certain neoplasms in the psyche that allow him to change something in his future.
Change your life: where to start?
This question is both simple and complex at the same time. As a rule, they are asked people who are still at a crossroads: something needs to be changed, this is clear. But how to change how dramatic these changes should become? These questions remain open. Let's try to answer them.
People who have changed their lives admit that the most difficult thing was the first step towards a new reality. For example, someone all his life dreamed of getting a higher education, but life circumstances did not allow this to be done in his youth and youth. And now a man has come to the 40-year milestone, he has a profession and decent earnings, but at heart he remains unsure of himself, believing that he is missing something. Having decided to go to study at a higher educational institution, such a future student is afraid of a lot: how his family and friends will look at him, what he will feel like in a student environment, etc. However, after turning the tide and having unlearned at least one semester at a university, such a person feels he was a winner: he was able to change his thoughts, change his life, achieved what he dreamed of all his youth and youth.
Or another example. A woman of thirty-five years old had been dreaming of a child all her life, had been treated for infertility for many years, but did not achieve her goal. As a result, she began a protracted and severe depression with suicidal thoughts. She met a man who wanted to connect his life fate with her. Before marriage, the woman thought for a long time because she had lost hope of becoming a mother. But, having decided on this step, six months later she found out that she was expecting a baby. The joy of the birth of a baby overshadowed all her sorrows, she found the meaning of life and realized that her desire, expressed in the phrase "I want to change my life," came true, she was able to shift her fate in a positive direction.
But how to find the strength for positive change?
As a rule, it is very difficult to find the strength for such positive changes. After all, middle age is not the time of youth, when many of the problems seem insignificant. After the thirty-year milestone, it’s difficult to change, you need to force yourself to believe that joy is waiting for you somewhere around the corner of your being.
Want to make a difference? Where to start, don’t you know? We will answer directly. You need to start with a holistic analysis of your entire life path. After conducting such an analysis on our own or with psychologists or with significant relatives, we must make a fateful decision: what exactly needs to be changed?
And after all the thoughts, start your new path. Most likely, at the beginning of the journey it will be very difficult, new solutions will be difficult to give, but you should not give up. If the feeling of melancholy and senselessness of being completely tortures you, then it’s important to just try to live every day with a smile, enjoy the little things in life and, laying down in bed, thank God for giving you another day of life. Gradually, circumstances will help you accept a new reality.
Last tip: learn to feel the joy of being
And finally, let me give you the last advice on the topic: "Change life for the better: where to start?" Despite everything, cultivate optimism in yourself. Believe in your future, sincerely believe that people around you need you, constantly look for yourself affairs and cares, so as not to indulge in sad thoughts. Fight external circumstances, don’t give up, don’t lose faith in yourself and that a happy star leads you through life, and all trials only strengthen you and give you a valuable life experience.
And therefore, if you decide to yourself: "I want to change my life," change it, go ahead, and everything will be fine with you. One has only to believe it. Go for it!