Have you ever thought about why you are fulfilling someone else's whim, despite internal protests and your own unwillingness to commit this act? At work, at home, in the company of friends, while watching TV, we are surrounded by manipulation everywhere, mastering the basic skills of which a person achieves his own needs. How to manipulate people? It is enough to know several specific points of influence, allowing to force a person to fulfill a particular request.
Manipulation and manipulators. What to know and what to watch out for
Manipulation is a variety of ways to influence a group of people or an individual person, provoking a change in behavior, preferences regarding values, as well as the fulfillment of certain tasks, requests, an object of influence (the person to whom the manipulative effect was directed). Manipulator - a person (group of people) who wants to fulfill his own needs with the help of psychological (emotional) influence on another person.
Most people do not notice how, under the influence of various factors, they fulfill someone else’s request. With professional manipulation, a person is not able to recognize that he is forced to do an act contrary to his values, morality and desires, however, according to some signs, one can reveal how people manipulate other people. For example, an unexpected manifestation of care on the part of a stranger, boss, relative and other personalities who had not previously shown similar feelings and emotions to an individual is a sign of the beginning of manipulation. This also includes children's tears, hysteria, setting conditions ("if you love, then ..."), intimidation and causing fear, a promise to improve living conditions, after purchasing the goods (fulfilling the request).
Is manipulation necessary in the modern world
Everyday life is filled with various manipulative influences. Every day, each of us can run into them simply by turning on the TV. Advertising presented to the eye of a potential consumer is replete with indirect suggestions, causing an unprotected layman to want to buy any product. And modern television series (Russian, foreign) and reality shows contain a certain intrigue, which forces us to see the next issue of the program again next time.
The ability to manipulate people is a science that most politicians, professional marketers and businessmen possess. Both in politics and in business, morality has slightly different boundaries than in everyday life, which makes manipulation an indispensable means of achieving certain successes. It is worth noting that this kind of impact is not always negative; in some cases, its application allows you to achieve the goal set for a group of people or one person. For example, a student, after several repetitions by a teacher of a task (“open textbooks”, “get a notebook”, etc.) in the future will fulfill it already at the subconscious level. Another example is the educational process. On this side, manipulation can be considered both negative and positive influence, depending on the values and morality of the family.
Psychology
The secrets of effective exposure to people help to uncover the secrets of psychology. How to manipulate people and what is needed for this? The science of human mental activity advises you to control yourself, not to show real emotions, to develop charisma and learn some acting skills, as well as learn to "read" people,- this will help to develop personal tactics of manipulative influence.
Before you try to influence a specific person, you must consider his age, gender and some mental characteristics. According to statistics, people who are most susceptible to external influences are considered emotional persons, women, children and older people (from 50 years old). It is not for nothing that many scammers use pensioners, young mothers and children as their potential victims - each of them has leverage, this category is the most vulnerable in emotional and mental terms.
How to learn how to manipulate people
Some individuals have the gift of manipulation from an early age — in childhood, most of us do this unknowingly, over time, either forgetting about such skills or developing and improving them. What does it mean to manipulate a person? Literally, this means direct or indirect influence, forcing the person to act according to the plan of the manipulator.
Should I learn a similar effect? Of course, yes. The technique of introducing into the human subconscious allows you to inspire people with exactly what you want, without using anything but communication. In addition, knowledge of possible techniques of this kind protects against unconscious submission to other individuals. The art of manipulating people is easy for someone, but someone is quite difficult, it all depends on the individual qualities of the character of the potential manipulator.
The words
For effective suggestion, it is necessary to exclude uncertainty and negation from the vocabulary. How to manipulate people using words? Very simple: it is enough to replace, in a conversation with a potential victim, “more” with “already”, “I” with “we” or “you”. Correct phrases that do not include denial (no, never, never) and open questions (“when will we meet?”, “How to solve this issue”) also contribute to the impact.
How to manipulate people using words on paper, in a report, in a letter? Contextual suggestion helps here. Due to the correctly arranged words in the text, a person can unknowingly fall under the influence of another person. How to achieve this? It's simple, most of the text should consist of ordinary phrases, and only 10% - from the impact of phrases. The essence of messages of this kind is that the selected fragments of the text in the subconscious of the reader are added to a certain setting. For example: "I want you to work with us for a long time, fruitfully and effectively. Work, of course, for a small fee, no one offers you to work. Everything will be paid according to our tariffs." The main thing - when writing a message, it is necessary to consider the future reader, his preferences and personality traits.
Lying
How to learn to manipulate people? Psychology gives a clear answer: the most common way to control other people's emotions and actions is an obvious deception. However, the disclosure of lies is fraught with serious consequences for the manipulator, ranging from parental flogging (if it is a child), fights and ending with problems at work, in business, and politics.
Repetition - the mother of learning
How to manipulate people? Surely everyone can remember their teacher, repeating the same phrase several times, so she firmly "stuck" in her memory. Manipulation by repeating simple truths is a favorite marketing move of all advertisers.
Care and attention
How to manipulate people? The psychology of soft behavior is the key to success. Show maximum care and attention to the person. This method is especially relevant in family relationships, but it is actively used in other types of relationships. When the victim relaxes and is ready to thank, at this point it is necessary to ask her for a response service.Manipulation in the form of attention and care, even when disclosing the impact, will not bring negative consequences, since the manipulator itself has already satisfied the needs of the victim.
Blackmail and bullying
How to manipulate people? Psychology of aggressive behavior - to help you. Want to lose normal relationships with colleagues and loved ones? Then you can safely use it. The essence of the method is that the manipulator acts on the victim with the help of threats or blackmail, that is, by acting on certain psychological levers. For example, the boss wants to get a report as quickly as possible, and tells the subordinate: "If the papers are not ready before the end of the working day, then I will fire / deprive you of the bonus / I will not let you go on vacation." It is worth noting that blackmail is one of the most effective methods.
Bribe, bribery, seduction
Depending on the situation and the participants in the manipulation, the method may be either legal or not legal. Seduction is more often used by people who are on friendly or love terms. Thanks to the method, you can force a person to fulfill the required order (desire) without any losses and negative consequences for both parties.
Anger
To use this method of manipulation in practice, one must perfectly master tactical anger. That is, one must correctly show anger without even experiencing it at the same time, and also be able to “infect” the victim with it, and provoke it to emotions.
Silence and guilt
Having resorted to silence during a dialogue, you show how upset you are. This provokes the development of the guilt of the victim, the person wants to know why you are silent, what exactly upset you. After several questions of the object of manipulation addressed to you, you can express your desire, but only in a soft, slightly offended tone. Manipulators use guilt during various disputes, recalling the opponent about his past misconduct, thereby causing a desire to correct the past situation by fulfilling their request.
Love
How to manipulate people from the closest environment? Use their feelings for themselves. Basically, the manipulative effect looks like this: "If you love, then do it." This method is effective only for the use of loved ones in their interests, it will not work on the feelings of colleagues or strangers.
Promise
By promising a person something in return, you can count on his location. However, the promise only works on emotional and gullible personalities; people with logical thinking will not have the proper effect.
Intrigue
An unfinished conversation, like an unfinished action in a popular series, is intriguing and causes a desire to find out in more detail about what the interlocutor wanted to say. How to manipulate people? Use a little understatement - this will allow you to intrigue the victim of manipulation, and in the future force you to fulfill your order.
Vanity
It works on overly selfish individuals. The ego of a person is simply not able to accept the fact that someone is stronger, better, smarter than he, or vice versa, flattery in its direction is taken for granted. The impact is simple, you just need to build the phrase correctly. For example: "You are doing a great job with your work, I think you can do my job well"; “Most likely, you won’t be able to work 2 hours longer than usual today.”
A pity
Causing a feeling of pity for the victim, you push her to unconscious submission and satisfaction of your needs. Try to show how bad you are now, that today you need help and support. However, one should be careful: busting in provoking regret can make the manipulation explicit.
Tears are the weapon of children and women
If the object of your influence is a man, and you are a woman, then tears are a great way to manipulate, because the fact has been known for a long time that most of the stronger sex do not tolerate female tears. Remember, do not throw hysteria and scandals, just show that if the victim does not do what is required of her, you will be very bitter. A thoughtful, full of pain and longing look will help to achieve the desired.
There is no definite universal way of influencing a person; manipulators can use several methods at the same time, which greatly complicates the disclosure of manipulative influence. A well-trained moral, psychological, informational and emotional person is able to quickly identify an attempt to influence her beliefs, as well as prevent possible pressure from the manipulator.
Job
The work process, regardless of place, time and participants, requires certain communication skills. Achieving this goal is the main task of any team. At work, you cannot do without manipulation if you want to take a higher position, or get an extraordinary vacation, as well as make your colleagues work more productively.
How to manipulate people at work? For manipulative influences in this vital sphere, you can use the following tips:
- Do not try to talk with your boss about the desired vacation (increase and other) at the beginning of the working day, because at this time a person is just starting to psychologically adjust to work activities, and your questions may be perceived as a “red rag for a bull”. The best time to talk is a lunch break or the end of the day.
- Before the hour "X" try to come to work as early as possible and go home later, follow all the necessary requirements of the authorities.
- To influence colleagues, you can use the principle "you to me - I to you." Offer your partners the feasible help in something, and along the way, as if by chance, ask for help in solving your problem.
- The conversation should be conducted in a purely business style without bright emotional coloring. In order for your words to have the desired effect, you must be moderately restrained and at the same time positive.
- Show respect to colleagues and superiors. How to psychologically manipulate a person? Recognize his superiority. Even if your boss or colleague is a loser, you just have to emphasize his success in something - this will attract a potential victim of manipulative influence to you.
Key leverage
Each individual has certain levers, just a little clicking on which the manipulator gets what you want. How to learn to manipulate people? Identify their weakest points. Depending on the type of person’s personality, type of activity and his life preferences, the following effective leverage is determined:
- Family.
- Feelings and emotions.
- Material well-being.
- The presence of secrets (treason, deception of loved ones).
- Position in society.
- Health.
- Values.
Have you been manipulated, how to understand? Manipulate a person - what can and cannot be done
People who fall under the influence of others need to be calm, not initially show their awareness in this matter. If you have been manipulated, then carefully monitor your manipulator, find out exactly what he wants to get from you. Situations can be completely different, but the opposition is always the same - in a calm voice, explain to the person that you do not want to fulfill his requirements. If he uses any pressure lever, try acting on him in the same way.
If you decide to become a manipulator, then you should not push on a potential victim. How can people be manipulated? Only positively, negative impact can lead to unpredictable consequences.For example, you need to force the child to quit smoking, and you, after an angry tirade about the dangers of nicotine and tobacco addiction, utter to him the parent "once you get caught, you won’t be able to sit in one place / beat your lips / make you eat a cigarette" and so on. The child, instead of stopping smoking, begins to experience an even stronger craving for the forbidden, the fact that smoking is the prerogative of adults is imprinted in his head. Here you need a calm dialogue: "Hold a cigarette, let's sit, have a smoke, but you, alas, will not become a swimmer. Breathing from smoking suffers greatly." Naturally, the child immediately imprints in the subconscious that a cigarette is bad, and then the manipulation will work correctly.
How to protect yourself
Far few can boast of resistance to the influence of others, especially when it comes to the impact of children on their parents. Little manipulators are well aware of all the weaknesses of mom, dad and other relatives. But it’s one thing when your own child makes you fulfill your requirements, and another when an outsider or a close adult begins to have a manipulative effect on you.
- Guilt. To minimize the possibility of manipulation on the basis of guilt can be accepted as a rule in the family (friendly environment) to forget grievances and other people's misconduct.
- Anger. Emotional effects based on anger and negative emotions can be suppressed by rational, calm behavior, or by completely ignoring the manipulator. With any attempt to challenge you to emotions, just ignore the person. The worst thing is to follow his lead and react to the negative.
- Silence. A distressed silent person will try to make you first apologize and speak. The main thing is to keep calm and do not start a dialogue with him yourself, wait until the manipulator itself takes the initiative. In a conversation, use an even, friendly tone of voice, in a friendly and polite way explain your point of view to a person.
- Love, affection. If you notice that your feelings are openly exploited, it’s better to completely stop the relationship, since love cannot be manipulated. This statement does not apply to family relationships between parents and children.
- Promise, trust. When confronted with a manipulator that promises you wealth, health and success, before deciding, weigh the pros and cons. Trust the facts and your own experience - this will protect you from the effects of the manipulator.
- Influence on the ego. As soon as you began to provoke an act that diverges from your principles and desires, think about whether the proposed action can really be feasible, and whether you need it.
- Information garbage. When attempting to manipulate the manipulator as a personal conviction for an established fact, try to check the information submitted to him. Never take the news with the emotional coloring with which they are presented, analyze and disassemble them "on the shelves".
